Common Beard Insults (And How to Deal With Them)

March 20, 2019 12 Comments

Common Beard Insults (And How to Deal With Them)

Any guy who has started to grow out their beard has inevitably come across beard insults.

We think it’s this issue and the itchy beard problem that persists in the early days that prevents many potential beardsmen from blooming out into full beard.

The prime time for insults as well as that itchy beard is commonly just in between that beard stubble stage and around that 3 to 4 week beard stage. More scruff than anything.

You’re not really sure what’s going on with that facial scruff that’s sprouting from your face -- hairs are pointing in every direction --and that’s prime time for the snarky comments to come in.

You’ll hear things like:

“Forgot to shave?”

“You too lazy to shave?”


Do you know of any other beard insults that haven't been mentioned? Let us know in the comments below. 

“What is that?”

“Eurggh do you get food in that thing and save it for later?”

“You joining ZZ top?”

“Some sort of wannabe hipster?”

“You look way older now”

(Please feel free to add any we might have missed in the comments below).

As mentioned in previous posts, the strategy to avoid this completely. Is to start growing a beard out just before Movember, Decembeard -- this gives you the excuse of growing out the beard for charity. When you mention that, people soon shut up stum.

Then hopefully you have the Christmas period as well to grow it out even further, that gives you around 12 weeks of pure interrupted beard growth period to contend with.

That said if you are in the middle of March and want to start growing out that beard.

Here’s what you can do:

Look after and care for the beard.

This is the ultimate beard response.


Because the beard is looking good. A lot of the insults come about due to people literally just growing out a beard and doing nothing to it.

It’s the equivalent of just growing out your head hair. Then not washing it. Not getting it styled or cut. It turns into a bit of a mess.

Why would your beard be any different?

If you simply neglect it.

Even in the very early stages of growing out the beard, it’s going to become wiry, untidy and generally not very appealing.

This is the cause of the beard insults.

As they are sometimes pretty justified. However, no one is going to take the p**** out of awesome looking and rocking beard, it’s just a given. Same way, no one is going to with a damn fine hair cut.

And if they are, it’s coming from a place of jeaously?

So how do you get to that stage.

You follow the beard grooming advice step below.

  1. i) Everyday apply beard oil

If there’s one singular thing you can do to help out the look and feel of your beard - it’s to regularly drop some high-quality beard oil into it.

This helps to ensure the beard looks healthy and promote a natural strong beard -- think of it as a high impact conditioner.

  1. ii) Keep on top of the trimming

Although, not as important in the very early days, ensuring that you are getting your beard trimmed (preferably by a barber, at least in the initial stages) will make sure that the beard is looking completely on point.

Keep on top of it, but don’t go over the top as it grows out, this takes a lot of discipline (in trying to resist over trimming it), however, is necessary to keep your beard looking good.

iii) Make use of beard styling products

This is another key aspects that even some of the more experienced beardsmen miss out on.

They regularly apply beard oil, shampoo their beard in the right way etc. However, that’s the equivalent of just washing your hair. To get the edge? You reach out for the hair wax, hair clay etc.

Beard styling products are essentially what gives your beard that edge: check our award winning beard texture balm, that will more than do the trick.

  1. iv) Tidy up the beard with quality beard grooming accessories

Finally, to make the best use of both grooming and styling products - and to get the edge - using a high quality wooden beard comb and boar bristle brush will give the beard that extra edge.

As always guys.

If you have any questions or having problems with beard insults.

Genuinely we want to know and will help you out as best we can.

Literally, just shoot us across a message here.

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